Lovestruck Teeny Bopper
by Snakeskin
Summary: Jeff thinks and doesn't think of Annie as a lovestruck teeny bopper. Short fic about Jeff's thoughts during Anthropology 101.


**First Community fanfic. Enjoy!**

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Jeff watches as Britta tries to explain to her teeny-bopper fans that she doesn't love Jeff, and he kind of wants to kill her when she picks up a pen and _signs_ one of the girl's books.

And then suddenly Annie is behind him, agreeing with him overly-enthusiastically and he knows he has to nip this thing in the bud before it gets any worse. Like Britta-worse.

He grabs Annie's arm and marches her a ways down the hall.

"Annie, remember that little talk we had?"

And then she's grinning up at him and twirling her hair in a way that makes him smack her arm out of the way.

Because a.) since when does Annie flirt with him? And b.) he is definitely not allowed to appreciate it.

And c.) it makes her whole 'not a love-struck teeny-bopper' claim a lot less believable.

Especially when she says, "But you should know we didn't just kiss, we technically frenched, I checked the make-out meter in this month's issue of—" She stops, presses her lips together. "National Review." Her silky brown hair swishes out behind her as she swings around and heads down the hallway, sneaking only one little look back at him.

He can actually feel his brain implode as the weight of Annie's little teeny-bopper rant about make-out meters settles on him. God he wants to kill her. For reminding him how freaking _young_ she is, which reminds him what a freaking _predator_ he is for kissing—no, sorry, _frenching_—her in the first place. God he wants to kill her.

As if blurting out '_National Review'_ instead of '_Teen People' _is going to make her more of an adult in his mind. As if walking off all briskly like that is going to make him think she doesn't give a shit about whatever it is that happened between them. God, he wants to kill her but _goddamnit_ if it wasn't the cutest thing he's ever seen.

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Later Jeff is so overwhelmed with anger over this whole Britta situation (seriously, how is _she_ the victim in all this? She embarrassed him in front of the entire school just to beat a sexually aggressive professor at her own game!) that he kind of forgets about the Annie problem. The problem that she says isn't a problem, but clearly is when she's talking about _settling down_ and _deserving_ to be with him.

So he turns around fast to set her straight and that's when it hits him.

The perfect solution to _both_ his problems.

Beat Britta at her own game.

And get Annie to see that it is never, ever, in a million years, going to happen between them.

Jeff always knew he was a genius.

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Annie's punch is like…well, it's like a slap in the face.

Jeff always assumed if and when he got hit in the face by one of his study group members, it would be Britta. He also assumed it would hurt a lot less.

But Annie comes out of nowhere and smacks him with a force that belies her tiny (_young young young_) figure.

And then before he can really recover from the initial strike, she's telling the entire group about their kiss.

The Kiss.

And with blood dripping out of his nose and onto his lips, Jeff feels like a Grade A douchebag.

Especially when Abed's marriage parade skips into the room. And then everyone's staring at _him_, judging _him_, yelling at _him_ and since _when_ is he the one in the wrong here?

Oh, right.

Since he made out with a teenager in a parking lot.

And suddenly he's so angry. So, so, so angry he might kick over a table or something.

What's wrong with _him?_

What's wrong with him is that he is a man, he is a monster. At least that's what everyone else seems to think and why not? He is a monster, a callous, unfeeling, perverted monster.

He's so glad that Shirley's the one he's shouting at and not Annie, Annie with her doe eyes and her shiny hair and pink lips, soft lips. Because he doesn't think he could possibly feel more disgusted with himself unless he was looking at her. Looking at her and still wanting her, like some kind of fucking predator.

So he turns it back on Britta and shouts at her, and finally gets what he wants out of her (an admission of not-love). Like he always does.

He doesn't look at Annie.

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The next day Jeff makes it all okay again with one of his speeches. He really does mean it, it's not that he doesn't, it's just that it's all so...played. He and Britta go back to friendly bickering, his friends go back to caring about him like a human being and Annie finds him gross. Maybe it's the whole 'craving young flesh thing' or maybe the 'sleeping with Britta on the study room table' or maybe it's just the fact that he's still kind of soaked in an octogenarian's urine. He doesn't ask. Annie thinks he's gross, so he can go back to pretending he thinks she's just a teeny-bopper who isn't entirely too sexy for her own good, who doesn't taste like strawberries and rain, who isn't the face he sees sometimes when he closes his eyes.

Awesome.


End file.
